Creature Comforts N°17 - with Jeremy!
Your weekly newsletter coming in to slay the Sunday Scaries! Replenish and reset yourself for the week ahead. Why not lean on your journal for some support?
Happy Sunday, sunshine!
How have you been? It’s been a busy past couple of weeks for me, but nothing strenuous enough to stop this train from persevering. This week, we have something new—a collaboration! I’ve partnered up with a cool Chicago-based folk artist to bring you Secret Librarie’s first Interview with a Diarist.
Meet
, the writer of . I started following Jeremy this year, and if my memory serves me correctly, we crossed paths again in a chat. He admitted to having an interest in journaling and told me that once he put his journals into a blender. A blender?YES, a blender! He used the notebook puree to create homemade paper. It was an instant yes. So poetic. The symbolism. Art on high. Journals in a blender? I knew he’d be a great candidate for my first newsletter collab. I hope you enjoy this interview and Jeremy’s paintings sprinkled throughout.
Interview with a Diarist: Jeremy Mathew
CHLOE ZOFIA: What's currently your main passion/interest in life? Has it ever changed?
JEREMY MATHEW: I started a quilting class a few weeks ago, and quilting is all I can think about! I have also been experimenting with embroidery. Until a few weeks ago, I was strictly confining myself to painting and drawing. I have varying interests that stretch out in all directions in time and space, which can be confusing. I always feel overwhelmed about what topics I want to explore, what books to read, or what art I could make. I’ve learned that I just have to embrace this and allow myself to go down rabbit holes. I can’t help myself!
CZ: When did you start journaling?
JM: I first tried to start a journaling habit in high school, but I had an overbearing parent who would shamelessly read my journals in front of me. Understandably, this deterred me from putting down any personal thoughts on a page. Over the years, I have made several attempts to start journaling again, but the fear and anxiety about my privacy being violated have persisted. It wasn’t until I started doing the morning pages from The Artist’s Way a few years ago that I began to write consistently. I had to work through a lot of self-censorship and just write in a stream of consciousness.
CZ: Do you ever find yourself wanting to journal more or less? Or do you stay pretty consistent? If more or less, what do you think influences/triggers those periods?
JM: My journaling routine is very sporadic. I’ll go through periods of writing regularly, then fall off the wagon. Mostly, these periods of writing are initiated by difficult life events—depressive periods when I need to talk myself off of a cliff. When I have found my center again, I usually forget about writing. This makes for a difficult relationship with my journals. When I read them back to myself I find it disorienting. If I only turn to writing in fits of rage and through periods of nihilism, I am worried that the only written record of my life may be that.
JM: I’m working to heal my relationship with writing and written/spoken language. Until recently, I haven’t felt confident in my voice or ability to express myself through this medium. Starting a Substack has been the best exposure therapy. This morning I shared apost that went out to 50 people! When I think back on myself, even just a year ago, I wouldn’t have had the guts to hit “send”. Since I started my newsletter, I’ve been journaling a lot more to pin down my thoughts about the topics I’m interested in writing about. So far, my newsletter has covered the topics of mental health, art as a therapeutic practice, and art history. It's been so empowering to press the publish button every week and find that my message is resonating with folks. I’m hoping to continue using my platform as a way to encourage creativity and make arts education accessible to readers of all kinds.
CZ: Describe what your journal and practice looks like. Messy? Minimalist? Colorful? Collage? Bullet journal? Do you lean toward writing in the morning or evening? How frequently?
JM: My journaling practice has no boundaries. I usually just use cheap spiral-bound notebooks. At least half of them are pure nonsense. I find that regularly practicing automatism in my writing helps me clear my head and stay loose. I grow bored of writing about the day-to-day occurrences and my interpersonal relationships. I’m more interested in using journaling to give shape to the thoughts that bubble up from the unconscious. I’ll often pull tarot cards to reflect on and write about. Automatism is so interesting to me because I can almost always find consistent patterns in the symbolism and themes that emerge.
JM: When my mental health is really in the gutter, I’ll record a voice memo on my phone to vocalize my thoughts. This will happen when I don’t have it in me to pick up a pen. These recordings feel like a confessional. I recently listened to a recording I made on the eve of my 30th birthday. In the recording, I cry a lot and spill my guts; I say everything I’m scared to say and name my greatest failures, my faults, and weaknesses. There was an ocean between the self I was and the self I wanted to become. As I write this now I see that there is so much power in being radically honest with yourself and allowing your darkest thoughts to have form. Journaling is really an act of confronting yourself but learning to do so with kindness and seeing the fullness of your own humanity.
JM: I also practice impermanence in my journaling practice and art practice in general. There is some fear that I have with writing around the permanence of my words. My thoughts and stances on opinions on things change often. I think there has been this unconscious paranoia I’ve had about the permanence of written words—that an imperfect sentence, thought, or idea will exist forever and belong to me once it’s on the page. As my journals stack up, I feel like I can sense a certain negative energy from them, and I feel the need to release those thoughts somewhere to rid myself of them. Recently, in art therapy, I’ve blended up some of my journals to make paper, which was a cathartic process.
JM: As another project in art therapy, I’m starting my own book of hours. This is obviously a starkly different approach from my usual mode of journaling. I’m going to try out some calligraphy and do some fun illustrations in the marginalia. I’ve had a keen interest in illuminated manuscripts and the medieval period in general lately. I feel like the era parallels with the time we live in in a really interesting way. I’m planning to use this as a way to address some spiritual trauma.
Thank you for reading ♥︎ I’ll talk to you next Sunday!
XX,
CZ
This Week’s Journal Menu
Reflect: Did you relate to anything Jeremy said in this interview?
Check-In: Jeremy mentioned the practice of impermanence in his journaling practice and art as a whole. Do you practice impermanence in any way? What are your thoughts on it? Is the thought of impermanence a relief, or does it stir up some other kind of feeling?
Expand: A Sunday confessional? Why not? Try doing an audio journal entry. Nobody needs to hear this, in fact, you can delete it immediately after recording if you wish. Get your phone and search for the voice recording app. Go somewhere private and gush. See what comes out.
Craving more?
Peek into peoples’ journals, get more journaling inspo, or pick up extra comfort in the Creature Comforts Archive.
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Great interview! A blender tho! I can't even...