Dear Diary,
I did the unthinkable. I earnestly subscribed to 83 newsletters.
It was a rush, a thrill, a wildly exhilarating excavation of newness. There I was! Surrounded by every “thing” and everyone, every topic I could ever dream of being written with a fearless poetic prowess for all the world to see.
A place where you might write as if nobody’s looking, because really, nobody is looking, yet people keep writing despite nobody looking because one day, people might come read.
83,000 people might read your newsletter. 900 of those people might dub your writing worthy of $6/month.
Suddenly that fearless, once unseen, formerly unheard poetic prowess is paying your rent. Shouting into the void could launch your career—the career of your dreams. You know the one?
That one career that you weren’t even sure was possible because it seemed too good to be true.
Yes, yes, you know the one.
The career that can buy you a bed frame, bunion surgery, a Dachshund, acupuncture, a plane ticket to visit your mother across the Pacific Ocean.
The career that feeds your soul and your bank account so deeply that you consider buying yourself a special dress from that one brand you’ve been eyeing for years. You know, the one that feels too extravagant, self-indulgent, borderline embarrassing to covet, with its ungodly price tag thanks to its ethically sourced transparent supply chain and sinfully soft silks.
Yes, that brand. The one you applied to work for and made it to the second or third round of interviews with, whose brick-and-mortar store you drove an hour to, just to see the collection in real life because you thought it’d make you better equipped as an applicant. Yes, the brand you pretend to hate because you love them but they don’t love you back.
Imagine?
A career of this magnitude could empower you to feel like a worthy writer. But lo, it’s not a career that empowers the writer. It’s writing that empowers the writer and the readers who gather around each other’s writing.
Could Substack be that writing?
Can a nobody really grow a massive following on Substack? A real nobody—not a phony nobody who’s accomplished, who’s already written for Vogue and The New Yorker, been knighted by gatekeepers, who’s published books in London, and given a TED Talk in Vancouver.
Welp! I’ll let you know because, in the words of Emily Dickinson, “I’m nobody. Are you nobody too?”
Dear diary, I subscribed to 83 newsletters without considering the inevitable overwhelm it could bring. But instead of overwhelming me, Substack has given me hope for a better life.
I think I’ll stay.
Love,
CZ